I'm going put this post here hoping to get more response:
Background: I don't think W has a PA. When we Reconcilised in 2012 we agreed to try more adventurous sex and bought some sexy lingerie and tried a vibrator during foreplay and stimulating lubes. Also once we got v v drunk and we had anal sex - I cant remember a whole lot about it except she was exceptionally turned on and very noisy - but we remembered the babysitter in the next bedroom and stopped - she would not talk about it the next day. Our dabble into sex toys/naughty lingerie died a death except for a few times when we stayed in hotels. We also talked about mild bdsm, handcuffs and blindfolds and used blindfolds a few times. But for BDSM you have to make time - without kids! its not spontaneous and we never had anal sex again.
Today I discovered W's stash of sex toys and other items.
It seems she is into BDSM and she is experimenting with anal sex toys. She has two sex books close to her bed - one about BDSM and the other about sex toys.
She has a stash that has some BDSM items and it seems unused - put away - Because it needs two people??? to tie her up
Her other stash I think is used when I am away on business or when she stays away in a hotel on business or night out with girls.
It has the naughty/sexy lingerie that we bought together plus the mild BDSM stuff and vibrators and 'new' anal stuff (there was also a receipt for an anal vibrator) and lubes and cleaning stuff. No condoms or male stuff.
Her three best GFs had discussed going to a new sex shop close to our town in the Summer and they arranged a provisional date but I thought it had fallen through! it looks like they went
Two receipts were dated June 15 and Sept 15 - this last one had more anal stuff (vibrator and lube) and was dated just one month before BD. T
My question is: Does this discovery affect our chances of R?
I know that all I can do is continue to DB.
She has mostly kept these sexual desires from me especially the anal sex. We have dabbled at BDSM and i have tried to take the lead but she kept all the stuff hidden in wardrobes - BDSM isn't exactly spontaneous.
Her main complaints with our sex life: I didnt initiate enough , and she didn't want boring routine sex in the bedroom.
Isittoolate, I could be completely wrong here, but if the supplies were purchased one month before BD and seem unused, is it possible that she was thinking of getting more creative with you, feeling a loss of connection and thought maybe sex toys would spice it up, but then changed her mind and decided that wasn't the way to go? And she BD'd instead? Maybe they were meant to be a last ditch effort in connecting with you?
