thanks nitaf for the book recommendation, i'm going to get it today, if the local bookshop carries stock

hi kaw - always look forward to your wise counsel. it means so much to have someone who cares point out the improvements, i feel my PMA up a notch already.

ok, review of monday. a roller coaster.
+ had a good time meeting up with my aunt who was in town for a business call. lots of quality time, she is my fav.
+ H responded friendly when i called after lunch, we chatted about mutual friends
+ we had a good dinner, casual, good conversation
-- somehow after dinner, H got a bit withdrawn, and i did not handle it well. called up some friends and they were at a pub, so got ready to leave. H was very upset, 'go if you want to' in a way i know he was hurt. so we sat and talked a bit about my needing his time and attention. did not go down well. he was quiet and sullen in the begining, then started chatting a bit
-- we then got into discussion about OW, that she had been in touch to 'clarify' some things my H had said to her H - arrgghh - but i held my cool, and H concluded that there should be no more contact
++ got cuddled very nicely and the rest just got up to reflect on and sort out my fluctuating emotions, feeling much better now

perhaps just another day on the piecing roller coaster. feeling very drained, but better now than 3 hours ago. i know i should not bring up 'needs', but man, some days, it is brutal.

tomorrow is another day, and i need to focus on goals:
+quality time with H - he plans to come over to my workplace for lunch, and we are going out dancing after dinner
+going to do at least 2 supportive posts on this bb tomorrow, gives me a great deal of personal satisfaction to be there for someone who is hurting
+ will continue to journal everyday - it has been more helpful than i expected
+ compliment H on how he handled his sister at weekend - she was needing help

c'est tout. must slow down, and manage expectations. things seem to be going in the right direction. thanks a lot guys, i cannot say just how valuable your inputs have been. lots of hugs, slowly


A Liberal Allowance of Time