Mona thank you. I was more assertive with H pre-BD. Never with MIL. I just don't know how to handle her, mostly because she lies and if I say "that is your drink now" or whatever she would probably deny that she even touched it and accuse me of lying. This is the type of thing I am up against. She lies about EVERY THING. Anyway, since BD I have been so non-assertive with H because I am terrified that he will leave me. I have been GAL, 180, positive, etc, but the truth is I am scared of losing him. And in therapy it is even harder to "fake it" because of the topics being discussed. She told me to fake it. I try, wine helps! Music helps, if I play "tough" love songs, for example, that helps. But the truth is that I am so heartbroken and I am positive that this reflects in my energy. Trying so hard not to have puppy dog eyes, but then I end up withdrawing. I could never play poker, I could never be an actress, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. That said, there have been days or hours where I "acted" and there have been days and hours where it was genuine. So I can do it, I just need to do it more consistently and better. Only 2 more weeks until he is out of the house, I can do it for 2 weeks.
And Mona, I do avoid them now during visits. I go out, take a walk, run out to the store, visit a friend, I am in and out and not sitting still for long. It helps a lot.
