Thank you for that. I have DR, is there an advantage to getting DB too? I only browse websites like this on my work computer, otherwise I don't even have a normal laptop for myself. I use my cell phone for everything. I will make sure to keep that clear of history.
She did ask me to come over tonight to give her grandfather the birthday gift together, that I picked up while she was away. She was very happy that I, who she sees as a non helper and never involved in shopping for events, thought of something she did not.I do not plan on staying though. Just a quick hello to him, happy birthday, give the gift, small talk for a few minutes (he has dementia), then off I go.
A friend pointed out to me today that most everything she asked me to change, I had either changed, put in a massive effort to change, or changed most of the way. I am no longer a slob oaf that sits around and doesn't help, I would run her errands after work, cook and clean while she finished up school, etc. It was clearly not the problem.
Thought of another question. When detaching and getting a life and presenting yourself at your best to the WAS, how does having talks about her infidelity, about our relationship and digging to the root of our problems play out, if in those moments I am emotional? We have only spoken twice since the bomb and that was 3 weeks ago, and it was super emotionally charged where I do not think we said much of anything constructive. Our two talks since were light, unrelated and upbeat. How do you do the work, and be at your best when vulnerable? Am I thinking too far down the line because this is all so new, and not worry about looking so well now, but do the best I can?
Me:34 W:33 R: 15 years M: 7 years W moved out: 11/21/15 BD: 11/20/15 - ILYBINILWY, PA once LRT: 12/14/15
