What changes does he think you need to make? Which ones do you agree with? Have you read DR?
I've only read your last few posts but it does seem like you are focused a lot on him rather than on yourself.
As for what he says, around here the common thinking is to believe none of what they say and only half of what they do. Some of what your H says sounds a bit manipulative and even possibly narcissistic? Though I'm no expert. But so what. What are his actions?
Have you read any threads about boundary setting? Are you GAL? What are you working on in terms of change within yourself?
