in house S (5)

[vise82]

Hey isittoolate,

I know we are not piecing right now, I am almost positive if I push things W would get her back up and turn me down as she is so stubborn. So I can only do small things.

So Friday we took S7 out for his birthday dinner. It was nice, and fun. W was a little quiet as I tried to just small talk with her.

Then next day I took the kids to my work Kids Christmas party. W didn't want to go. After I took the kids to a maple syrup farm to buy a gift for MIL, I also picked up some small candy for my W. W went shopping with her girl friend. She was gone most of the day. She came back late in the afternoon. Her friend came in the house and asked me about my soccer, so W has told her all about it. They were nice to me which I was surprised. Friend left. I gave W the candy, she seemed ok with it. Then W wanted to go rent a movie for all of us to watch. W and I used to do that as a date night before kids were around. So we all watch a movie in the basement. Kids went to bed after and W stayed up stairs and watched TV.

Now all weekend W said to me like three or four times how her back was hurting her from working out. I don't know if it was a hint to offer a back rub or if she was just telling me her back hurt.

As you can tell. This is tough. She is not telling me anything. I am not asking anything. I am not really not happy with the way it is, with this not knowing how she feels about me. I am getting to the point where I want to push the issue or have a talk. I can only go so long like this.

Sunday we took the kids to get the photo with Santa, I had Soccer so we took two cars to the mall. We had some lunch after the photos. It was a good time. W talk to me a little more and we talked a little more about Christmas at her parents. I said good bye to the kids and W at the car and left for soccer.

Now soccer was early and I told W that seeing if she offered to watch my soccer or wanted me to go to her parents for diner. Nothing was offered. She went early to her parents so she couldn't watch, one of the kids asked about watching. She had plans to go shopping with her Mom to get ready for Christmas.

Looks like more people are going to be at her parents then I thought, her aunt is sleeping over, and her cousins are there the Christmas day. With the numbers I think they will have to put W and I in the basement. Will see if they put two beds down there.

I have questions about who I am getting gifts for, as W and I gave together, this year we wont, there was a pull a name out of a hat system that was stopped two years ago. I think we just get gifts for immediate family? W wanted to go over gifts tonight.

She wanted to go over the gifts last night but she didn't ask me. So this morning W is up and I say good morning and smiled. As I am about to leave she mentions about gifts. I said that I thought she wanted to do that last night, and she snapped back angry that she forgot about it. OK, I said good bye as I left and said nothing to me. So something is bothering her.

This morning I fought off the urge to give her a hug good bye like I do with the kids.

One day at a time.