Back on these forums again 4

[Mona52]

I had a great night last night. I went to a dance with my friends, which is unusual for a Sunday night, but I am glad I went.

The night started off extremely weird! Some guy asked me to dance as soon as I sat down. He was older, but it is just dancing so I went. He proceeded to tell me that during the holiday season, I am supposed to wear a green tank top and red mini skirt and look like an elf. And do I have an red mini skirt?

um.... no

So I sat back down (as fast as I could) and another guy asked me to dance. Thankfully he was normal and we had fun.

I sat back done and the first guy come instantly over and asked me to dance. I dont know how to say no, I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I said OK.

As soon as we started dancing he told me to watch out for the last guy I danced with (yes, the normal guy). He said
"That guy turned my fiance into a prostitute. And he did it to 40 other women as well!"

Then he proceeded to tell me he is an artist and I have to sit so he can sketch me.

um..... no

Then a man named Jay asked me to dance. He was so nice and so funny. I forgot that I had a sad life for about 5 songs because he was so funny. He has children older than me, which was shocking because he looked maybe in his 50's.

A not so normal guy asked me to dance next and he was a tad bit scary.

By now I was feeling completely overwhelmed. I wanted more than anything to be left alone so I could just watch the dancers and breath. I am not a people person. I like computers, not conversation

That is when Chris came over and asked me to dance. What a relief he was! He was the first person near my age, and he had this protective air around him. He took me to the far corner of the dance floor instead of the front center, which was so nice. I felt I was able to kinda hide in this corner, but we were still dancing.

I stayed dancing with him, in that little corner for over half the dance. The first guy I danced with was just waiting for me to sit back down, so I kept Chris dancing, poor guy.

The band took a break and Chris asked if he could join me at my table. I came with a group of friends, so he joined them. My mother was one of the people, so I laughed when I introduced him to my mother.

He was able to handle my group of friends like a champ. We tend to get a tiny bit rowdy.

Anyway, the band started up and I danced with Chris a little longer. Then this line dance (Cuban Shuffle) came on, and I went to dance it while Chris stood and watched the dancers.

When the Shuffle was over, some lady grabbed Chris so my protective shield was gone.

A guy on disability who said if I was a few inches shorter he would hurt his back too much to dance with me. He was too touchy for my taste and it was very uncomfortable.

But Jay cut in to finish the night and he was amazing. He is 27 years older than me, so nothing romantic was happening. He just felt like an old, dear friend. He was saying how beautiful I was and it felt so nice.

During the break, Chris asked if he could text me sometime, so I put my number in his phone. I did not check my phone last night, but Chris sent me a text at midnight saying it was nice meeting me and he had fun dancing with me.

He lives over an hour away and he works full time, so neither of our schedules would allow any kind of R, but it was fun and needed. Good to know if I wanted to I could date.

Sometimes I feel like I will live the rest of my life alone. I feel no other man would want anything to do with me. So these dances show me that if I D my H, there is still life out there. My H was my first option. But I already waited for the man for over three years of our marriage now. Almost 3 last time, plus now takes it over three years.

And I am no saint, by anyone's imagination. I am unsure how the rest of you DB'ers are surviving without physical touch, but I am going nuts. Plus, I am sure he is getting physical attention when he visits OW. I see zero reason why I should live like a nun to please him.

OK, I see one very very very good reason. The people I meet now have feelings. I can use them in a dance for fun and a tiny bit of contact. That is what the dances are for. But anything further and I risk hurting someone. I cannot hurt someone else's feelings. So I have to be incredibly explicit that I am not looking for any kind of R right now.

But it is Monday morning, back to my databases, servers and my normal boring life.