Hiya all, V & anc, thanks for checking on me. I have been reading all the posts and tring to lend a hand where i can, just not too much on me.
This last couple of weeks i have been busy with life. Focus has been so much on the kids homeowrk, sports and activities i havent made too much time for me other than the gym and it shows in my heart...wanting to break out a little. In laws were in town for 1/2 of rhe last week for a chrisymas party in Wisconsin. Went to that on saturday after took boys to thier wrestling tournament.
This week is much the same with wrestling meets, chorus, band and soccer matches. Thursday i am going on an overnight field trip with s13 for his science club for school. Busy for them not so much me time though.
When we leave there, whole family is all going up to minnisotta to see a friend for the holiday.
In laws will be back for christmas right after we get back from duluth. I dont mind seeing them, we have always gotten along well.
I am trying to figure out a way to carve some time out for my own sanity this week. The energy just isn't there the last two weeks and that startles me...it is like i feel a pull to just run away for a while and curl up into a ball in my bed. I used to hate doing that...but i did it.for years when o got home from work or after dinner when i wanted to feel sorry for myself or whatever.
I did want to mention something else i have been thinking about. I have been asked a coupke if times, wwhat changed in my marriage to kind or sway the dynamic a bit. I thought for a while it was just time. Idk if that by itself was enough. I have neglected the impact of space.
Over the last year and a half, i have been working on renovating my basement. The entire second half of 2014 and the first few months of 2015 i spent wvery spare moment of my existence down there. It gave me something to do so was not just sitting around waitinf. It gave me something to talk and work out details with wofe. It gave hope for a place to have more room for the family. It was a manly thing. It gave me space away from wife and a chance for her to miss me, all the while it was apparent that it was effort for the family, built confidence, a big 180 (following through on a big plan) and Something to at least consider as possibly having an impact on the synamic, we are talking 30 hours a week or ao for months.
