Pho, Your info concerns are getting me nervous. Should I be concerned for myself? What are your fears?
Mutatio, my MIL knows no boundaries. Years ago, I was on a forum for people with in law issues. It was a good source of support for me, and anonymous like this forum. I told H about it. I was on there for years, maybe 3 years as a regular. I finally broke away because they changed their format and I decided it was time for a break. Anyway, during one of our MC sessions H brought up some things about that forum. It was obvious that he had been reading my posts- and yes, I knew he was aware of the forum but still, I felt violated- and also based on what he said he was using the information against me, pretty sure he had either shared it with the IL's at the time, or was sharing his recollection of my postings with them now. (now, as in post-BD, months ago though.) He was highly critical of my postings, accused me of lying about his mother, and so on. Also, I should add, before that forum, I was on a different one with my first name and my MIL "found" me, so I found a new forum with an "undercover" name and thought I could trust H.
I have not told H about this forum. Honestly, he has shown zero interest in my activities, I think I could practically bring a guy home and sit on his lap in front of H these days and he probably wouldn't even notice. But in the last few weeks he seems a little more interested in what I am up to. He mentioned another website the other day, asked what it was about. It was actually a job search website. I do not leave this website up if I walk away, I do not think he found it, but I am on here a lot and it is possible he has seen me on this site. Just from walking by, etc. I think its a matter of time before his curiosity kicks in, or he could ask his mom to check it out for me.
I post a lot. I could be identified easily. I don't mind being identified and "outed" if I am asking for support, or talking about my feelings, my GAL, etc, but I have said a lot of personal info about H and his parents and if he sees it I am pretty sure it will be an all out war. I thought of this months ago, but my need for support outweighed my need for discretion. Now I am thinking H is going away. He might have more time on his hands, might be working through issues, might be curious. If he reads just a few of my posts he'd figure out it was me.
I don't think you'd have to worry Mutatio. You haven't said anything that your w would hold against you. Actually, if she read your posts it might help your situation, if she could see you for the person who the rest of us see.
But my H is still unstable and his parents are very much unstable. And I have revealed a lot. I don't regret it, but it is time to start fresh.
