Unless I missed something , I do not feel like your husband is cake eating or a WAS. It reads as if he still loves you but is deeply hurt and confused and angry. Rightfully so. Intellectually he wants to divorce...your actions (whatever the reason) have surpassed his boundaries and greatly injured his ego. But emotionally and physically he still desires you.
I think you will have to be extremely patient. I think you need to put him first. As many books say, there cannot be enough apologies and reassurances. I think as long as it is safe and desired by both of you, you should remain intimate. Don't worry so much about you and your feelings right now. It should be about him.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
