spoke to OW..the 1 he said he has no contact with

[JGuy]

Hi Rain, my two cents, FWIW... I think you are doing the right thing by not welcoming him back so easily. If anything, maybe it would help to hold it together and not blow up at him in the heat of the moment. Speaking from an emotionally charged place seems to always backfire because drama always feeds more drama.

Just kindly insist that you need time to think about things. Then wait until your mind is clear before you communicate. If he doesn't respect your request for space to think and keeps pushing your buttons, then just walk away. If he pitches a fit then don't react, he is being childish and only he can choose to grow up and learn respect. Just focus on yourself by making sure that you are respecting him and don't sink to his level when he says hurtful things. Easier said than done, probably!