WW is onboard with trying to save the M

[JGuy]

JGuy, getting caught up on your sitch.

I'm feeling for you. My need for emotional connection from my W is at an all-time high, and her need for me is at an all-time low.

Lots of parrallels with me - my wife had PA, 2 years later had EA, and I had a porn addiction throughout the 15 year marriage. I'm getting IC for the addiction, and over 6 weeks have come to realize I was using it to replace the emotional/physical affection my wife can't/won't/didn't give. She replaced her anger with me with another man...

So, I'm struggling with now having no coping mechanism for having a wife who is emotionally cold/distant, and we have had no sex for 3 years. She considers it 'icky' and something she might not ever do again - she says she just doesn't need it.

I come from a Christian background, but I don't expect everyone to do what I'm trying to do... save the marriage, even if I will never have the emotional and physical needs met.

What do you want to do? Does she feel the same way?

Hey Trumpet,

My W is saying similar things about not being sure if she will ever want me sexually. I could not stay in a sexless marriage as it would be miserable and empty of one of the most joyful expressions of love. I cannot live the rest of my life that way. For now, I am just keeping in mind "believe none of what she says right now, and only 50% of what she does". I am thinking that I would probably end the M myself if she still doesn't want me in 10-12 months. I recall that somewhere in DR, MWD said to expect about 1 month of recovery time for each year of the marriage. I really want to give it a fair chance.