Ggrass, I came up short too. Ah so this line isn't original as well...
Maybe do a search on some of my early stuff to see why we joke about the wrong bacon, the wrong hemeriod cream. I was told buy cream, well the shop didn't have any but hrh (his royal highness or asshat as he sometimes gets called) so I thought it was a dire emergency and he was dying in pain got suppositories and had to endure a 45min rant about why it showed I didn't care enough to get exactly what was asked.
One lady got the same for her large pores in her skin. I got told hookers were better ml than me but he said he had never used one, yet I was rude angry and nasty?
Just read lots of stories and see there is no real oringal sitch nor is anyone line or behaivour much different. It's just degrees of how bad for some the abuse gets. Assault of my child was when I started to wake up.
They feel badly emotional so they manage you down to be as unhappy as they are.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
had to endure a 45min rant about why it showed I didn't care enough to get exactly what was asked.
That sounds nasty!
Originally Posted By: Ggrass
I got told hookers were better ml than me but he said he had never used one, yet I was rude angry and nasty?
That is what the X claims and I have exactly the same question as you have.
After being on this board for 3 months, I realised that many sitchs are v similar and like you say, just differing by varying degrees. Helps to take the sting off a little.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
It's just designed to sting from them for pay back.
And the rant was all about how it proved, he was right I was wrong it wasn't so much swearing and nasty words. In fact that it's the justification from xh2 that he wasn't abusvie as he didn't sweat and yell at you, but spend hours wearing you down with word salad and long winded rants of somthing that should not have happened, ie suppositories vs cream interestingly tho even tho he needed me to buy that as he was in intensive agony he didn't even open the packet.
Things like that happened all the time, the evidence didn't meet the out come. It always left you thinking something was not right?
You could not fault the story as the end results were explained that fitted what you saw, but the how it got there never added up.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Hi Pink...I want to thank you for checking on me even though you are going through so much pain of your own.
I read this thread and can not understand your XH at all. He says he loves you and he seems to be a lot more helpful to you and yet he can't recommit.
You sound like such a great catch, so strong. I pray you find peace. Its hard enough to understand if the H or STBX doesn't love you anymore. It must be even more difficult if they do.
Im sorry for the pain and confusion you are in.
All the best, Rain
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Ggrass, I came up short too. Ah so this line isn't original as well...
One lady got the same for her large pores in her skin. I got told hookers were better ml than me but he said he had never used one, yet I was rude angry and nasty?
Just read lots of stories and see there is no real oringal sitch nor is anyone line or behaivour much different. It's just degrees of how bad for some the abuse gets. Assault of my child was when I started to wake up.
They feel badly emotional so they manage you down to be as unhappy as they are.
I wasn't worthy of a Valentine's dinner out because I didn't look like a model. Said in front of my children, after he complained about what I cooked. And this was years before BD. I was so blind.
Thanks so much to all of you that came to give me so much support at this time.
Sotto - as usual I agree with you! I think you are right with such approach to my situation and I will follow your advice. As a matter of fact, I am doing it already.
Grlonfr - Yes, indeed I am in a very messed up situation. But, as we say here... "you will try and hold on a R until the day you say it is enough". I understand very well that I am the one that decides how much is too much.
GG - my situation never had any abuse in a sense of bad words, bad attitude, many arguments. My XWH was lazy at home, he was not a honey do kind of guy, that was me. But he was always a very responsible provider. I was always very free do to whatever I would like to. He kind of lost his mind once he got involved with this OW. With the D, he got very compassionate and a super gentleman. He treats me well, always says how lucky he was to be married to me and that I was the one that stop loving him first.
In some ways he may be abusive for throwing on me all his guilt, but I think he really believe that I did not love him anymore. He needs help and is not getting it. It goes back to his childhood.
RD - who would know that we had our first fight already. LOL But, maybe it is not a big fight because I think that I did not try to get a reaction from XWH, but my attitude was in that direction. By the way, I did say to him that I wanted his stuff out until december 31st or I would drop it off at his place.
I also resolved his bike issue. I told him that he needs to take his bike too and he said that he did not know. Well, then I told him to decide because it is final. He needed to say he is taking the bike or if not it will be mine because I would not give him any more time to decide. The bike stays, now it is mine, period.
I think I am getting a little more detached because now I can keep my distance with no much problem anymore.
Rain - I am going through a lot of pain, but I have been learning a lot since it all started. TBH, only now I am starting to understand this whole think about DBing, detachment, 180s and so on.
For me it never made much sense that I would let go, detach and still love the person. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I am doing better now.
Well, here are the latest news about my life:
* Finished all my XMas decorations. My house is all XMas now, it looks nice and smell like XMas.
* S21 and I decided what we will be working in our project for xtra money. We need to do a lot of work, but we gave the fist step. We have been talking a lot about this.
* Got together with some friends for our own XMas time before the we get too busy to meet each other.
* Have been invited for several get together in the next days before XMas.
* My boss from another office (another city about an hour from my office) invited me to join him on 12/21 when he will be donating several prosthetic legs for running purposes for children. He said that I am a big part of this and would really be happy if I could join him that day. Wow, I was actually very proud to hear him saying that. Besides, it will be fantastic since I know most of this patients and their parents.
About XWH - this was not his weekend with the kids but sunday morning he texted S17 and asked if he could hang out with them. S17 answered that they had too much school work because it is finals time and that if XWH wanted he could hang out with them at the house. XWH asked if "mom" agreed. S17 said yes, and XWH texted back wanting to make sure I knew about.
I sent his this msg: XWH our sons have some school work and they do not want to go out tody. They asked me and I do not have a problem to accomodate things. You can have dinner here as well, as a guest. If it is OK then fine, if not then you can make other plans with them or see them tomorrow as your original plasn. Your choice. Please, let me know. Txs.
OK. I will come over @ 6:30pm. Thanks.
Then he comes over. I wasn't there because I was at the supermarket with S21. I got home, said hi to him and continue my normal stuff. and start cooking.
XWH sat there in front of the TV saying nothing. He did not move, and said about 6 words for the entire time he was here. A little over 3hours. He did not talk with me and with the kids as well. S17 tried to talk to him about the football sometimes and he would just say yes, no.
He was very sad, and I have no idea what kind of bug bit him because he was just very quite. I called everyone to the dinner table, he came, he ate, thanked me saying that the food was excellent as always and sat again very quite.
In while after he decided to leave, came to say goodbye and told me that he would let me know when he would take his stuff from the garage. I told him that he can pick it up even if I am not in a house, he can just stop by and take his stuff.
He then said that in anyway he will let me know. I said OK thanks. He was leaving and then I walked to the front door and said I would like to ask him a favor.
He looked at me and was all nice and said off course Pink, what is it. I said that once he comes to take his stuff for him do not ask any of the boys to help him to put his boxes in his car. I said that I do not want the kids to do this for their own good.
XWH looked very down and sad and said that he was not thinking to ask them. Ok, thanks and have a Good Night.
I was a little worried, and also curious but I did not buy into that and asked anything to him. In the past I would ask what was going one, but now it was easy to just let go.
Not my problem, and I have no business in his life. It was just very awkward.
I told a friend of mine that knows him as well and she thinks that he is getting down to reality now. She said that since I start changing my attitude that XWH is being different too. That he is seeing everything very final, that the kids and I are moving forward with our lives and we do not seen to be unhappy.
Well, we will see about that. I still think that he is very depressed and need help.
Good morning Cira - I wanted to apologize for last night. I thought I had schedule the afternoon of the 13th. I will ask them if they want to go out tonight, OK?
I did not replied. It's fine. Do what you want. If the kids can go out with him then it is fine. They will probably go to grab a bite and be right back since they are on their school finals and need to finish work/study.
Am I reading too much into this? Is this just a normal thing to have emails, calls, visitation, etc. from your XWH every day? Maybe it is normal, but it is also very annoying. I feel I need to be reminded of his existence every day.
I tough I was crazy before, but now I see what crazy means. Hugs, Pink
