Jpeg - I'm about to join you in NC. I think my H imagines I'll be waiting on him forever. Part of that is my fault. I told him he could get his piece of paper saying we were no longer married, but until I heard God tell me, Himself, that I'm released from my vows, I will consider myself married.
I have a suspicion H believes we can be friends one day. His talks about the kids and our family in the future always include me in some capacity. I need to make it clear there will be no friendship.
I am terrified this will drive him away forever. However, I won't sit in a room with him while he's with someone else and pretend to be fine. I won't be fine! I'm not fine now. I'm focusing a bit too much on suicide these days. I'm sick, scared, and alone. It seems like a real solution some days...except for my faith.
I'm going to follow GB's suggestion: Send H a letter indicating I want no contact, who to reach in an emergency, and only contact me when he can apologize and is ready to work on marriage. I may never hear from him again, but it will be a huge improvement over this current blatant disrespect.
I need to remind myself I have value. I've considered the craziest ideas in order to "save my marriage" - until he comes around and wants to work on it...No saving. Just me, stuck with him and OW. No thanks. I deserve better than that. It will break my heart, but somehow he's convinced himself that my wants/needs are not as important as his.
Since I find myself in complete agreement when the advice is directed at you, and less sure when I consider it for me, I realize it must be the way to go. He has to give up OW. He doesn't even get to speak to me until then.
I wish I could go on vacation with your bunch!!! It sounds so wonderful! I'll be praying for your family.
