Just keep swimming in a new direction

[JksD]

Ha, tl2, well as you could still get that double entendre about the parentheses, make no mistake about it, you're still very much a man! Don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

I am so sorry about your hurt. Do you like hot chocolate? Sending hot chocolate your way.

That sense of rejection did come up in our R talks in the months leading to the D. He kept asking why I did what I did. And I tried explaining the fear and confusion that drove me to it. My mum was there during his outbursts and she's scarred by them as well.

But I can see his hurt. And when I reflected on my mini- MLC, I realised that he might have been wondering if I was unfaithful because of the way I was acting. So I get where you and he are coming from.

I feel that the OW helps him to get over his rejection and she's doing quite a good job at it. In fact, she may be doing or pretending to do such a good job that I don't think he has a reason to come back. He wants a carefree life and it seems the OW can offer him that.

He is very annoyed and uncomfortable around me, probably because of his guilt over the A as well.

And this is the best part, he is still angry with me because he says I get agitated. Well, well, Mr Pot doesn't realise that he's calling me black...

I don't know if he can get over his anger and his issues, because it's still all about me. And his family thinks it's all my fault too.

I used to think that it was all a matter of miscommunication and misplaced expectations. And I tried so hard for a second chance. But now I am so tired. There really is no point going back to what we left behind because it just didn't work and definitely won't work the second time round. He needs to know that life is real and gets messy. And it's not personal, it's just messy in different ways for everyone.

But yes, I will work hard on the casually sociable part. In the meantime, I will also have to work on my own sense of rejection. If I manage to smile at him, I will broadcast it on banners here.