I don't qualify for all those stipends. H makes too much money, we just have so much debt and him buying $400 shoes doesn't really help. We just live in an expensive city, which is why I thought he might like the idea of me staying in the US, but moving to a small(er) town. Besides, when you come here as a foreign national you have to swear you won't be a burden on society.
I made an appointment with a lawyer for Tuesday. Hopefully he can clue me in on my rights. Unfortunately I don't have our tax returns here, H has them and I don't have time to get transcripts from the IRS.
The stuff I've been translating is just stuff for my H's company. Nothing major. Not really qualified, haha.
I'm not sure anymore. I guess it depends on your perspective. Europe is the safer more comfortable choice. I'll have a sibling and the grandparents will be around 3-4 hours away. But I'll feel like an oputsider. I'll be lonely. I'll miss the US.
Here everything is expensive. I don't even know if I'll have health insurance. How can I pay my bills. But I like it here. I like the mentality. If I leave my D will lose her American streak - my H's words - but if I stay she'll always have her European side from me/us.
Gmum...your H sounds much like mine. Mine is charming and sweet...when he needs to be and when things are going his way. In private, he's a controlling, emotionally abusive butt-head. The names this man who once professed to love me spouts in my direction! He's vulgar. He's coarse. I don't recognize him at all.
I am not agreeing with him about most everything. He wants to tell me where to live, line out my finances, dictate where I should work, etc. I think, "NO. NO! You walked out on me. I get to do what I want to do, whether you like it or not."
This is scary for me. He doesn't get to ruin my present and control my future, as well. He may kill me over it. I don't care anymore. I hope he doesn't, but he's not handling the novelty of my sudden need to be in control of myself very well. Who can say? I'm not doing anything for him, unless it's something I want to do, too, again. Ever. My strings are cut. I'm wobbly, but I'm walking.
Now...if you WANT to move to Europe, depending on where, I may be tempted into moving with you. You can always stay with me here in Texas, too. You get to be free now!
Yeah, I've noticed that too. As soon as I don't react the way he wants me to he starts the rants. He's not calling me names though and I know he means well. But he's a nervous breakdown waiting to happen.
His points are valid. But after this many years here it doesn't seem right to "kick me out" of the country.
It's not valid. Why should you leave a place you enjoy because HE had a change of heart? I don't completely understand your situation. Can you apply for citizenship on your own?
It's valid because we can't afford two households in such an expensive city. He says I'm accustomed to him just figuring things out and he's not wrong. It will be very stressful wondering every month if I can pay the bills etc.
I have no credit history and no income so with his signature on a lease I'm not getting an apt by myself. Getting a citizenship can take up to 6 months. Don't have enough time if he files for ,D in a week and wants me gone end of next month.
Well, I liked your idea of moving to a more affordable location. What is wrong with that? Seems like a reasonable alternative to you leaving the country. He cannot make you leave in a month. I thought my H could. I've since found out, no. They can want all they need to....it doesn't make it so.
You've suggested less expensive living area. You're looking for a job. Daycare would be my suggestion, so you get free child care for your daughter. You can work on citizenship at the same time. Do you speak a second language that is often requested? You already have translation experience. You could sign up with a temporary employer or headhunter for that kind of thing, and have them bring jobs to you. I can point you in the right direction with those kinds of things if you don't know what I'm talking about.
Just make up your mind that you want to stay, and start doing what is needed to make it so. If you've been here for 10 years with no problems already - I think citizenship might be easier for you than some random person wanting to come in. I don't know for sure on that. Sometimes, government rules don't follow common sense. LOL
Ancaire has some great suggestions. Daycare is a really good idea. Is your English strong enough that you could work for one of the phone translation services that are out there? (Probably contract work, but likely pretty good money when you do work if your language is in demand.)
Do you know what his income is? If so, you can google your state's name and child support formula. If not, I would be very careful.
You need to file for temporary support and do it soon, before he stops paying bills and tries to kick you out.
I am concerned that if you go back to Europe that he won't support you financially at all. American orders are probably very difficult to enforce from there.
Two other quick thoughts-- is most of the debt consumer debt? If so, perhaps bankruptcy is the right solution. Misses up credit big time, but sounds like the stress of debt is very problematic.
If he is around on weekends, could you pick up an hourly job. Wouldn't be much money but would get you some experience.
