I am on my phone, so bear with me as I try to say a few words. First, one poster's opinion does not reflect everyone's feelings here. Second, in order to keep replies coming, you need to post often or some think you've left.
I hope you will continue with IC because your vulnerabulity and emotional issues could be a hinderance in piecing you MR. The W needs a H who has and shows inner strength. A W needs H who is stronger than she is. Let her lean on you,okay? Even if you have to fake it, be the strong one.
If she is truly trying to save the M, and if she stopped all contact with OM, she will go through withdrawal. She may experience depression. It is normal. It is a process she has to go through.
She will need your support. Don't smother or be clingy, but don't pull away.
I will cont. shortly.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!