Striving to keep the peace within

[mleigh4]

Hi Sotto. You made me laugh. Bundt cakes are regular cakes, just a different shape, you use a special pan, and it's topped with icing instead of frosting. Really good with coffee!

You are correct in reminding me of past time spent together with H. It tends to leave me a bit blue. I was really excited at first about it, but the reality is here. I intend to treat this as a wonderful Christmas day with my son. On this day, H can come and go as he pleases, which is actually what I expect him to do. I can't imagine he will spend the whole day, I would guess he will be away between morning presents and afternoon dinner. I will have all my favorite Christmas movies on, my lights all around the house, good food cooking and baking, and enjoy my day. I am looking forward to the day more than anything else...

Want to know the sad part? S was not happy when I told him the plans. He wants it just him and me. I just can't grasp this, I don't understand his lack of a connection with his dad. S also doesn't want to do Christmas Eve with H at grannies. He said it's boring. I told him you need to talk to your dad, ask him if you guys can try something different? S said why bother, he doesn't listen. It puts a bit of a damper on it all, if S can really care less whether his dad is around or not, it causes me to wonder why I am doing this? Keeping the family together for S is a main motivation for me....

FIL texted me yesterday asking if I needed help getting a tree. Very sweet, but how sad it must feel to have to step in for your son....I told him thank you, that S and I can handle it. I kept thinking about it all day. So last night, I sent FIL a message. I told him that I was thinking of him and that in my generation I have come across very few men who still show chivalry. I told him I work hard to teach S such and that he is a great example to S for that. I sent him hugs, he sent hugs back.