At Peace. your W left you 8 months ago. Due to money / kids you still live in the same house W has told you she no longer wants a M with you.
You can frame it anyway you want , it doesn't matter to W You need to accept this because it's reality
You said yourself your seprrated W can do as she pleases to you she being insensitive , to her she's going out and GALing. Your obviously worried that she might meet someone or such like and that's a possibility but even if she is , you have no control When you were together you had no control W will do what she will and that's what you have to accept
Boundaries are not control They are your way of protecting you. Please read the reconciliation stories on here Almost all of them involve the LBS letting go and accepting having no control.
Your talk of how it's easier to get back together , that part is true and if the two of you were willing then of course that's the best option That option is not open to you. I'm not sure if you e read my thread but my W , lives in a one bed flat , her car is c@ap and has not tax or not , she lives on a shoe string and her OM is a bipolar drunk who has serious mental issues. W is on anti Ds and has talked of suicide Would it not be easier for my W to try again , yes of course but for her own reasons she doesn't want to. Her family don't understand , her friends don't understand BUT it doesn't matter , it's her choice
You have a choice , you can carry on like you are , obsessing over what could have been or you can accept what is
I know you said you are going to see an I/C but I think it should be top of your list.
I'm speaking from experience here. I was like you and even had the benefit of W telling me she is unsure of what she wants and thinks she's having a breakdown or MLC ( her words ) , stil I snooped , obsessed and was driving myself crazy with " if only " I went to a L/C and she put me on the right path. I'm still not healed but I don't let thoughts control me all the time
Come on buddy , you need to sort this for you and yours. The futures not written and hope is always there but Atpeace needs to live upto that name
