Parents: help me parenting while separated (2)

[Ripe]

Ok. I blew it up.
Now is time to try and understand what happened.
When I saw her there all dressed up and ready to enjoy herself I was mad, hurt and angry.
She should be by my side, not GALing without me.
And when she and the friend came to our table my emotions and state of anger sky-rocketed. Does she think we are such nice friends that we can socialize together? That we can be together and exchange pleasantries as if nothing had happened? Only ten minutes after several acquaintances had asked me about my “wife” and I had lied to them?
After yesterday I realized that that woman still affects me and that her presence has an impact on me.
I realized I still want her.
I realized I still want to be married to her.
And in order for that to be possible I should have done what works, I should have acted “as if”, like DB tells us to do.
I should have stayed there and showed her I can enjoy myself without her. And that not because of her but because this is what really needs to happen in order for me to be able to move forward.
On the contrary, yesterday I only showed her a childish Ripe who is not at all attractive.
My friends just told me that STBXW and friend had gone to another table and that when I left they came to my friends’ table. STBXW asked if I had left because of her and my friends made up some lie, although it was pretty obvious what had just happened.
And now I realize I never told STBXW I don’t want to be friends with her after D. I have acted in a distant way, sometimes even impolitely, but I have never stated that clearly. So why would the friend and she not come to our table and say hi?
Well, now I ask for your help, dear friends.
What should I tell her if tonight, when I call the kids, she asks me what happened?