Thank you for your posts. Your insights are always valuable. I have been trying to catch up a bit on your situation and have read many of your posts on Phos threads and they are always touching. Forgive me if I am only repeating what might have already been expressed. I keep thinking of this comment you made on my thread...
" I find it easier to beat up on a male then a female"
I could be wrong, but as an outsider reading, I feel like you beat up on yourself quite a bit. Do you think you might be putting up with some pretty awful behaviors from your wife because deep down you feel you deserve this punishment?
This makes me sad, because you are so deserving of forgiveness from yourself and from your wife. Your wife has to make that choice to forgive and let go of her resentments herself, but I think you need to Forgive yourself first. How can you expect her to do so if you have not?
All of us on these boards seem to recognize what a beautiful and worthy soul you have, and that you deserve much love, kindness, and respect but that does not mean anything because you have to be the one to recognize it. What is holding you back from forgiving yourself?
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
