Thank you for posting. I was posting on your thread and then saw this, so we are in parallel today. I feel a weight off my shoulders while my H is traveling too. Although he has been staying in touch more than usual during this trip, calling and texting and really making an effort. Just a couple of months ago I would have been so excited about that, now I am seeing that I have made some progress with detachment. I am happy that he is reaching out, but it is not affecting my mood as much as it would have back then.
I used to go to the Long Valley Brew Pub frequently, it was one of my favorite places before we moved away. My cousins live there now (not at the pub!) and it is such a pretty place. I was there this summer actually. If you do go hiking, my boys always find arrow heads and cool rocks along the banks of the river there, your son might be a little old for that but it is fun to look.
As far as anger, I am learning to control mine as well. I find that when I control it, it can be therapeutic, when not controlled it just spirals out of control and makes me feel worse. Pre BD and in the months afterwards, anger used to make me feel victimized and panicky and desperate, now in the last couple of months as I have learned to manage my emotions, I feel shorter bursts of anger which leave me feeling like I have more clarity on the situation if that makes sense? I haven't thought of it before, I am glad you asked, because it has changed. It is helping me detach. I have stopped digging the husband sized hole in my yard, and stopped looking for sharp objects to throw at him, so that is progress at least. Now I feel anger and then no need to act on it.
Now that I am thinking about it, the gorge would be a great place to hide a body. LOL. You know in all the years I lived there, I think H only went hiking with me at the gorge once? And that was my happy place, I would go maybe once a week and asked him at least a hundred times.
