Sandi or anyone that may know, could you please tell me if it's possible for someone to be in an EA and one or both involved not know it? A boss and co worker spend so much time together talking, texting and emailng and there may never actually be anything sexually sugestive between the two but become very close over a long period of time. Is this possible?
Hi rustbkt
Yes, I think it is possible. This is what my H did 9 years ago. Due to his job he was in a car with OW for 8 or 10 hours at a time. According to him, he was just talking to her about how to fix us. He spent �100s texting and phoning at all hours. Clearly an EA, but to this day he still doesn't think he did it because there was an attraction there! OW even sent him a letter saying how good she thought they were together and STILL he doesn't see that he had an EA. That is the trouble with EAs they start off with innocently talking and the two people genuinely think that that is all there is to it, but when they start talking to each other and confiding in each other instead of their partners, and find they have to text and talk and meet more and more, it has become an EA.
I hope this isn't the case with your W. As I said, my H had an EA 9 years ago. We reconciled after I DBd 9 years ago, yet here I am again today, back on this forum because he left again.
From reading your whole post, I think you've just got to keep doing what you're doing. I know it's hard. Very hard. However, you do have the advantage of her still being in the same house so she can see your changes. My H is living with his Dad, so can see none of mine. Good luck.
