Pink's journey - living with pain

[Sotto]

Hey lovely, as I see this, it is an internal shift for you. At the moment, you are pretty reactive to your H as you described when you did the walkaround with him. He is where he is. That's not great for you and you do have kids together, so you don't have the luxury of complete NC.

However, I think you can get to a point of a) non-reacting to his behaviour and b) compassionate detachment.

From what you describe over a long period, he will continue to want to be 'part of the family.' He will want to knock on your door during the night and come sleep with you. He will cry and seek comfort from you. He will tell you he loves you and doesn't deserve you.

That is all up to him. Your response to all of this is up to you. Given all circumstances, what is okay for you now? Is it okay that he is part of the family? Is it okay that he sleeps over and knocks on your door...etc. I don't think you are lost at all, and I think you are making a lot of progress in your life. I think it is more a case of thinking through how you want things to be now (not from a place of anger but from a calm place) and making that happen. These are your boundaries and they are there to protect you from his behaviour, which will likely continue.

All of this doesn't mean that you need to accept it is completely over and give up on all hope. It just means living your life 'as if' you and he will not be together again. Now, you can reassess that at any point. However, I think it would be wise to only do this if you see a significant shift from his end. Just my 0.2c anyways...

Take care Sweetie, and have a great weekend xx