2. IF you reconcile it should require a full mental workup and evaluation, medication and an acknowledgement of illness on her part. If you are going to take care of your spouse "in sickness and health" and that sickness is an illness that regular causes your spouse to seek out and engage in reckless sexual behavior you better have a firm grasp of what you are signing up for, what needs to be down and a willing patient. Otherwise, forget it and use the illness to try to get as much custody of your daughter as possible to protect your daughter from the ongoing ramifications of having a likely mentally ill mother. Your children are much better off having a "disney mom" that is fun and does stuff with them when she isn't acting out and they don't have to be in her presence when she's actually cycling or whatever. If you can't get primary custody for whatever reason, you should probably stay for the protection and benefit of your children....regardless of what your wife does.
3. SM34 is completely wrong. No where has Michele Wiener Davis, author of 5h3 Divorce Busting books and owner of this website ever said that you shouldn't tell your spouse's paramours spouse about the affair. She has warned about blanket exposures and how that might make recovery more difficult, but I've never seen her explicitly state that OM's wife or OW's husband shouldn't be told. The other person's spouse isn't going to interfere in recovery. MWD may think it's optional and maybe for non-Christians that have the option of defining their own morality can get away with not telling but Christians have a duty to expose evil. IMO, that duty would extend to privately telling the OM's church where he is serving as a leader too. SM34 talked about not telling anyone as respectful but I don't see it that way at all. A respectful member of a community doesn't witness a crime and then say nothing. As a Marine and a Christian I'm guessing the only thing holding you back is the proof. You don't really fear telling his wife. You know it's the honorable thing to do, right? I know it's not a fun thing to do but it's NOT the telling that's hurtful, it's OM's adulterous behavior that has already crushed her - she just doesn't know it yet.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
