Hello- just journaling- I spent three days this week feeling nothing really for h. I had to question myself- do i just not care anymore, are my feelings gone, is this detachment??? For the first time today, I felt no trepidation about the dog swap.... That is until h texted me this am. 1) he said good morning (that's a first!) 2) he said I hope your back is feeling better (that's a first, too! I had tweaked it on Monday)... And I actually had a physiological reaction- my heart kind of fluttered a bit. Dang- guess that means I am 100% the opposite of detached. In time it is getting easier, but he certainly seems way more detached than I am these days. The purpose of the text was to tell me that he's researching new car insurance. I was surprised he didn't push for me to get off his plan- but no guessing or mind reading.
Limbo is hard, but I am truly grateful for this opportunity to develop myself and really figure out what I want for my life. The gift of time..I would be a fool to not take advantage of this period in my life.
Anyway, dog swap went well, we chatted for a bit. Pleasant- nothing earth shattering. He had a fire going in the fireplace- wish I still lived there to enjoy it. I had a party to go to tonight, but opted for some take out pf changs and dog snuggles instead. So I will be resting tonight and forcing my brain to think of other things other than h. Easier said than done.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
