SciDad, I did talk to my IL's about the A, they already knew, and argued in her favor as they completely bought into H's spew about how he was driven to her because I was so extremely impossible to talk to, and then the added awesome fact that I "hated them" and ow was encouraging him to "reconnect" with his family that I had so callously caused him to disconnect from, so of course that turned them against me and made them love the OW. H played that one magnificently, I didn't know he had it in him, talk about a master manipulator. Anyway, I got treated to lots of articles about "what happens when you are a bitch to your husband" and how H was in "romantic love" with ow and had "committed, obligatory love" with me, and how if FIL was in H's shoes he would have F'd her and it would be more than and EA. On and on and on, they bought H's lies hook line and sinker and think the OW was the best thing to happen to H.
And guess what, they are coming to my house again next weekend, aren't I lucky? And even if H and I divorce, I will have to see them at every one of my children's graduations, weddings, etc, this is going to suck no matter what, I wish I hadn't entertained ANY conversations with them about the whole mess, it just made it so much more "icky."
