JGuy, there is a book called 12 steps to self parenting that a friend of mine found helpful. I haven't read it myself. But its worth a look.
Also, I agree with Azz that you need to "fake it until you make it." I am still faking it, lol. But it does get easier to fake as time goes on, and in certain aspects I have succeeded. For example, H told me I was socially retarded at parties. I have been to about 10 parties since and I fake it, just go into actress mode and I can honestly say the last party I attended I didn't really feel like I was faking very much, it has become more second nature to me. I am still however faking a lot of the detachment stuff, still so much in love with my H and trying to act like I am calm and ok with things. Not easy to do, but easier than it was.
