New or false hope?

[Painter]

Hi, I am not up to speed on the situation so please excuse if my questions, etc., don't make sense.

I didn't do anything to make it go away, but I told him I felt bad for him and us - that when he has hurt me, I couldn't seek comfort in him, like a spouse should be able to, and now I couldn't comfort him in his need.

I have a question about this - my W has stated before that I wasn't there when she needed me, but in reality I was. Its a perception thing for her (I discussed her emotional/mental issues in my thread, so I won't bring them up here) and she really believes what she perceives to be true. So, if one's spouse feels that they weren't supported/comforted, then how will continuing the same thing produce a desired result?

Since you referred to my post, I'll try to reply (sorry for hijacking, Julie!)

What I was talking about, was the pain H and I both experienced during the revelation of his A. My hurt over his betrayal, his shame and embarassment.

Without knowing much about your situation, I would suggest looking at love languages. You may feel that you are there for your spouse, but if you're not saying it in his/her language, you won't be understood.