[BrightFuture]

Surprisingly, I was doing pretty good today! There was no text from H about him dropping of the papers. I got home from work and was wondering if he did drop by and came to the house. No, there was no evidence. Then I started thinking that he might have changed his mind and doesn’t want sign these… It was after 7 pm when I got a call from him. He said that he was driving his brother home and was around the corner from my house. He apologized that he didn’t text me earlier and asked if it was ok to stop by. I told him that it was ok. After all, he is still a decent guy inside, LOL. This is what makes it hard to understand why he is doing hurtful things sometimes.

So, he stopped by. Didn’t even enter the house, because his brother was waiting for him in the car. I have a few more pieces of mail for him that I picked up from PO box. There was a check for him for some of his invoices (company). I handed it all to him. He looked at the check, got excited for a second and asked me if I could deposit it after the 1st of the year. I agreed. Then he decided to open the envelope and see how much the check was for. Daahh… The amount was less than he anticipated. He looked at the voucher part with the details and became very upset.

This is where for the first time in some time I saw some emotion… His face… I saw the pain… He was very upset. He told me that the prices for his work came down and it is not the same anymore. Seriously, I haven’t seen him upset like that before. We had some very rough patches with money and there were multiple times when he was not paid for his work, and we even lost some money in business and had to borrow from the bank to pay the subcontractors he was working with. We were able to survive because of my income. We paid it all back. But, even then I never saw this much pain on his face.

He is driving back to the vacation home tomorrow. Like I said, I was fine today. His visit didn’t bother me as much and I’m glad the papers are signed. I think I’m very prepared for the assets division talk now. I just don’t know when he is planning to do that. There was no mention of it today.

Heather, thanks for the comments. You are not the only one who calls my H a d-bag. I would feel the same way if I would look at somebody else’s sitch. I might actually starting to feel it in my own sitch. I don’t think H is “good and ready” for D now. I think he has a lot of influence from some “friends”. I also don’t think he found someone. I think he realizes that this cannot continue as it is, especially after I asked him to sign the forms I needed. I will have to see when he initiates that “talk” about the condo.

Job, the forms I asked him to sign and notarize are simple. They look fine. Now I just need to send them to the accounts to designate my son as a beneficiary.

The house is on my name. He told me that he would sing a Quit Claim Deed form 2 ½ years ago. He was running so fast from this house, me and his “old” life back then, also thinking that he would have a condo. I jumped on the offer for the house and refinanced it. So now, according to the attorney I spoke with, the house is mine, he has no stake in it. He gave it to me. He didn’t want it. I took the full responsibility for the mortgage. So, the house is off the picture for the division of assets. I’m so glad I did this 2 ½ years ago, it was a very smart move on my part.

Job, I will definitely take my time in reviewing everything he will propose. He thinks that I will just sign off the condo to him, as he did for the house. He said that his 401k/IRA is not as high as it should be because he took some money for down payment on the condo. Yes, I agree. But, my IRA is also not as high because I didn’t put money into it for all these years when I was working my butt off as a traveling consultant and paying for two mortgages, while H was losing the money on his business and trying to find himself as a sales agent (when he also had more expenses than he earned.) Yes, he did put the money for the condo, but we would not even bought it if not for my hard earned income.

So, no… I’m not going to sign off the condo to him. And I will have an attorney here, not in Mexico (thanks, Heather) to represent me. Job, I think you are right that his attitude might change once he finds out that I’m not going to roll over and give him what he wants.

I might change my mind though and just give him the condo… I think I still have some compassion for the man… I will see how it to goes…