Now what?

[sandi2]

If it doesn't work, you may need some type of relaxer from the doctor. You may resist that type of medication, but going long periods without sleep is very dangerous, not to mention what it does to your body.

[tfish08]

I have been using Benadryl tabs to sleep as recommended by my dr

[melweb]

Thanks guys. I will start with the Dramamine for a few nights,as I like the 'settle the belly' aspect. That thing has a mind of its own.

If it doesn't work, I'll try the Benadryl. You would think night after night of 3 hours of sleep, I would at least be able to nap, but I can't seem to do that either. My body is so tired, but my mind will not go to sleep.

[gonegrl]

Mel, just catching up on your situation now. You are doing well, you are only 1 month into this and I think you have "caught" on to DB'ing pretty well. At one month in I was still crying all day and not sleeping either. I did get a Rx to help with sleeping. I remember I took an Ambien that sent me to the ER- that was a terrible drug for me, be careful if you end up on that one. As far as the mixed messages your H is giving you- please don't try to read into them. I am almost 10 months into this and still fall into that trap and it gets you nowhere.

When did H start lexapro? My H started it 2-3 months pre-BD and I believe it was a contributing factor to BD. He went from "depressed" which wasn't good, but he was loving, to completely numb, no feelings except rage, no sex drive- actually ED, and I think it pushed him over the edge. I know it works great for some people, but for others it can make things worse.

[melweb]

Pho, thanks for stopping by. How are you?

Why do I not feel like I am doing very well? I am epically failing at the GAL part.

I really am trying NOT to read into those danged mixed messasges. But, jeepers, his mood swings are giving me whiplash.

I believe H stated Lexapro sometime in 2013. He had been on Paxil several years before that, but decided he didn't need it and weaned himself off it. In 2013 we moved and he started a new, high-stress job, so they put him on Lexapro. Side effects were weight gain and low sex drive. I actually find his temperamemt to be faitly even keeled. He sometimes has to tell me to chill.

[gonegrl]

Melweb, it sounds like the Rx is the right one for him then. I know some people add wellbutrin to the lex to help with the libido, but then again if he is going through a MLC right now maybe its better that his libido is low?

You don't feel like you are doing well because you are dealing with quite possibly the biggest trauma you will ever face in life. It is going to take a long time to get through this, whichever way it works out, it is a long journey. Which is why taking care of yourself, and sleep is a big part of that, is so important.

I am glad you are on this forum, I wish I had found it earlier. Trust me, for 1 month post BD you are doing well.

[JksD]

Hi Mel,
Have you tried st John's wort? Doesn't put you to sleep but I find that it really helps with the worrying, which will help with your sleep.

[melweb]

Pho--I do think the Lexapro is working for him. It is God awful when he is off his meds. And they just raised his dosage, as his job here is quite stressful. He just went to dr for Cialis for his libido...that was 5 days before BD, so I cannot tell you if it is working or not.

As for me, I took Dramamine last night, per sandis suggestion, and it worked. I did wake up at 4 AM, and went "Oh No!" Usually that means the brain kicks into overdrive and I cannot go back to sleep. But I did. Yah!!

G--I have not tried St Johns wort. Thought that was more for mood. I have tried Valerian tho in the past. May have to go the route again. Thanks for the suggestion.

[gonegrl]

Mel, I used to take valerian many years ago and that worked great for me. Maybe I will try dramamine. Also, there is a tea called kava tea, it is made by yogi tea. I get it at the grocery store. If you let it steep for a good 10 minutes, it gives me the most "relaxing" feeling and it really takes the edge off. I know kava is supposed to be bad for your liver but I only drink it maybe 1-2 x per month. I have given it to a lot of people and it seems like half of them feel nothing, and half get that relaxed feeling that I do.

Also I notice that wine helps put me to sleep, but then I wake up and can't go back to sleep. I must have drank more wine in the past 10 months than my entire life. By a lot. I need to get back into yoga, that was the best for me.

[melweb]

Funny you mention tea, pho. I just bought some Sleepytime tea today. That, in conjuction with some OTC meds outta do the trick. I hope.

The same thing happens to me--I have no trouble falling asleep, but if I wake up in the middle of the night, I am doomed!

Also, I am wondering if "by a lot, " you meant "BUY a lot." lol

I was going to report that all was quiet on the battlefield today as H is out of town til Sunday, but the craziness ensues. If you remember, he had a full body wax done last week, and then I saw that he has bought Crest Whitestrips (at $90.00 a box). And today I saw he bought a tanning package. WTF---I am not even sure how I am going to pay for Christmas.
Furthermore, he has been trying to raise his credit limits in his credit cards--they all declined him. Seriously, where does this man think he going after the holidays? I hope its the dumpster at our local Walmart, cuz that is all he will be able to afford.