Wayward Wife, my addiction, advice needed

[trumpet]

Thanks Uphill - caught my error.

Yes - had a talk on the phone for almost an hour... that was before the MC session. The hour talk at home was on Tuesday night.

We're moving forward with a 'date night' on Friday. Not getting my hopes up, but will be on my best behavior. I think the fog is lifting, finally, from the EA. The issue is, now that we MIGHT be able to put this M back together, how many steps forward and backward are we going to take? It's going to be tough. I think it's marriage 2.0, really. We somehow have to make it through all the hurt. Forgiveness - what does that look like at a permanent level, and not for a day or two? The hurt and anger come back easily.

I'm scared to make a mistake.

I'm also excited that she is willing to take this step.

I think for our whole marriage we've been selfish, each of us wanting to talk our LL, feed OUR needs, and never looking at it from the other side of the fence. Fires would begin, we'd deal with them, kids came, we dealt with them, the job losses, the medical issues, the addiction - and now go back to the beginning, and truly try to give of ourselves into the idea that it isn't all about us.

My addiction makes it tough, though. I haven't backslid at all, but it did mask the emotional and physical needs that I never got from her. At least I can talk about those needs, and tell her what I need, instead of just being angry, and not communicating my feelings. But 6 weeks in, it does get tougher. Will have to rely on Jesus, and exercise to get me through this.