W cuts my hair (15+ years with an electric clipper). Yesterday evening, while W is cutting my hair I ask her how the dinner with the high school rep. She shares and to keep the conversation going I ask her who was there. She shares (2 other couples with their kids). Then she tells me the OM was there (he carpooled out) and after the dinner she took him home (he lives 3 miles down the road from us). I can feel myself loosing it.. in that she took my car to work to take to dinner.. bought gas with my CC.. and drove him home?!? She tells me she did not go inside his place but sent time talking to him. W says he is just a friend but adds she understands that no matter what she says I don't believe her because I have already made up my mind on what's happening. How am I suppose to believe that based on all the sext I saw?!?
We go at it exchanging words for 1 hr. W saying how I was not there for her 8-10 years and when she needed me the most (referring to unwanted preg.. and during that time my mother visiting and relatives over for thanksgiving holiday.. that I should have known better and said, no not this year because we need time/privacy.. from that experience I did not show her that she was not important enough).. that she always has to be the strong one when we faced life challenges (making reference that I was never her rock/support during those times).. that there is nothing for her in MR.. she sees the changes in me but unable to accept it and doesn't know why therefore she does not want to work on MR.. that she does not know what she wants.. its her personality to be subborn.. that she is being selfish but no one is looking out for her (making reference to how she feels about my outlook of her)..
Me, I acknowledge her feelings but spill.. saying that it can never work with OM because he is there emotionally supporting so she can never work on us.. I begin to fall apart too.. saying stuff like did you tell <friends> about you and OM; why not? Why hide it if she enjoys his company?
Conversation ends because I have to pick up S8 for sport practice.
