Thank you. It was pretty stressful (people don't take legal action here very often).
Originally Posted By: shotgun
Glad that you are in counseling. Therapist try to get us to see reality and in her mind the marriage might be over. Mine did the same thing but it was at a time when I really needed to accept it.
I've felt a couple of times that she's been pushing me along slightly. That's OK, I guess.
Originally Posted By: shotgun
As for humiliation and shame you need work on that because you don't really have any reason for those feelings. The work you are doing with the therapist is very hard and Lord only knows where it will go. I found out that I was much healthier than I thought going in. She just kept saying "Those feelings are completely normal". I had been so beaten down by my STBXW that I believed everything that she said about me. I am glad to have gone through the therapy because I am now armed with a lot more knowledge than I had going into it. Hope you have had a great evening as it is early afternoon here. Stay strong and keep up the hard work!
She's said those things to me too, about some of my feelings being totally normal.
I've felt a lot of the time over the past four or five years that I haven't known which way was up any more. I'd say to my H how I felt about certain (hurtful to me) things he was doing, and he would just carry on doing them, without so much as a second thought. I guess I just got used to that. And he just pushed further and further into my boundary. And I got used to that too.
At the moment, I have absolutely no desire to see my H, speak to him, or even just find out how he is.
How different from a year ago, when I had only just found out the extent of his involvement with OW.
He had just come back for the weekend from working away. He kept checking his phone. For some reason I asked him to give me his phone, but he wouldn't. I eventually pulled it off him and saw a text he'd written to her, saying 'I still love you'.
I asked him very calmly to explain. And he spent about 10 minutes staring at the floor.
What he then said was enough of the truth to satisfy himself, and enough of the truth for me to understand. I was devastated and hardly slept that night.
Anyway, hope that you're well and have some things that you can look forward to.
