Recent Hurricane

[SM34]

Cadet is absolutely right. It's depression. Here is my analysis:

She suffers from low self esteem caused by her being molested as a child, and that having never been addressed through therapy by a trained therapist.

There is a good chance she is bi polar. Almost a guarantee. And if it has never been diagnosed correctly then there is another problem that may be happening. My wife has mild bi polar disorder. It is very mild apparently and she was no where near as obvious as your wife's case, but nevertheless risky behavior is associated with bi polar disorder. The problem happens with a doctor prescribes anti depressants without knowing of the bi polar disorder. This almost certainly causes a manic episode to ensue. In any case you are not in any position to do anything about it, but it's good to understand these things.

Now the reason your coach Jody is telling you to stay off the forums is that many people here are not trained as she told you, but also because many people are mixing principles from different books and authors and this creates a mess.....

Confronting the man and causing his marriage to possibly end by telling his wife, there by blowing up everyone's world and then waiting to see where all the pieces land these are not DB principles. That sounds more like Dr Harley. Don't mix stuff. If ou are getting coaching, stick with what they tell you to do.

My coach had told me also to not listen to the forums. Everyone here wanted me to back off, never display any affection or offer any physical touch. I was deemed for doing this, and many were questioning if I was even having coaching or whether I was making it up.

But u was having coaching. And my issue was very very similar to yours. I had sexually neglected my wife and had turned her down for sex too many times to were it damaged her self esteem (which was probably already low, just like your wife). So she got with the first loser that gave her any attention. So physical affection was prescribed by my coach as a way of testing the waters to see if she would allow me to touch her (usually a way to see how the feelings are now) but also to show her that I am capable of intimacy since I had withheld affection in the past.

Since we have reconciled, my wife and I have had many heart to heart conversations about what happened. She told me without me ever telling her any of the DB principles, that she never lost any respect for me because i was never confrontational. I never wrote letters or emails to everyone she knows and exposed her the way others may tell you to do. I acted mature and with self respect and with dignity. The Om is always a low life since only low lives are ok with dating married women. So how you conduct yourself and the respect you have for yourself will contrast with the lack of self respect he has for himself. My wife says that she began to see that I was a respectable person who was not out to ruin her life or embarrass her. And she says without this there would have been no chance of reconciliation because the damage would have been done.

You are on track. Let it play out a little. Follow the advice of your coach. Keep posting here so we can help you with your own emotions and own mental health. Look after your daughter, she is most important in this ordeal.

Keep your head up brother, it will get better.