any ideas on how I tell her she can't stay after the D or how long she can legally stay?
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
G i think you just need to be honest. Tell her for the kids throught the holidays is fine, but then 2 weeks after she needs to be gone.
I think you need to have this talk for you and not in hopes that it will change something in her. I know that sounds easy, but it isnt. I am trying to figure out if I am contemplating a talk with my W about something for me or for the kids or to see how she will react, or even for maybe a chance of really letting go if i know the truth.
Whatever you do do not get your hopes up about it changing what she is thinking. good luck
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Seems to me reality has not hit for her .... Remind yourself these are her choices and as you both deal with the results of these choices you continue to make hers a bit easier by helping her with the fact she pooped herself. She replied that she did not want to move twice, well you did not want a divorce but that was simply not in your control. Had my W D'd me no way would I have allowed more cake eating .... You are simply enabling her in hopes she wakes up and that will not happen until she feels the loss
If you are cool with the set up of her getting her way ... Notice she is hanging around, pulling your strings and manipulating your good hearted was into what she wants/needs by getting her way here. Would Clint allow a woman to divorce him, stay in his house and continue to see other men? It shows weakness .... You are not throwing her out and punishing her... She made this choice and this is her mess to deal with, she should have made these arangments long ago... Not your circus not your monkeys
She has to deal with her choices friend. You have to open her to the world she created. As crazy as it sounds, you gotta man up and tell her she's gotta leave. She can't have the best of both worlds
Last edited by NateG79; 12/09/1508:17 PM.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Thanks guys, I know she has to go and if this D happens I want her gone. This conversation will happen I have just been having trouble figuring out the best way to state it. Luckily I had a session with my DB coach today. Her suggestion is " I don't want this D but if you continue down this path I can't handle you staying in the house any longer."
OTW- ask here before having those conversations. As you know everyone on here has great insight and ready to help
Caliguy- good to see you on my thread again. I appreciate it. You're right. She has pooped herself and I will let her experience the natural consequences of her choices. And No, Clint would not put up with it. I need WWCD (what would Clint do) written on truck mirror.
Nate- Thanks for stopping in. I'll be telling her she's gotta go as soon as I know how long she can legally stay. Trying to figure that out now.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Gs9, sorry that you are having such mixed signals coming your way. Be strong, protect what's yours. You are tough, you can do this! No more cake eating. (I say this for you as much as myself)
Best wishes
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Hi Sandi, Thanks for stopping by. What I have found out is that it is something both parties need to agree on because we are doing a non contested D. Right now we are scheduled for the 18th. If we do not come to an agreement on it then they cancel our date and reschedule us for a contest hearing and then the courts decide it for us. In our paperwork there are dates for transfer of title and equity pay outs but not move out dates.
So, sounds like something else that will need to be negotiated.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Well...I think she is just threatening to get her way but . I told her "I do not want the divorce but if this is the path you're going to go down and divorce me than I can not handle you staying in the house."
She said she would not sign anything and let the divorce be contested until she's ready to move. She would keep living her life the way she is and we would just live her together until she is ready to move.
I think she's bluffing but if she isn't than at least we'll still be hearing DB'ing. Not sure if it's a good thing or bad
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
