Wayward Wife, my addiction, advice needed

[trumpet]

Update.

Saw Pastor/MC last night. Before we went, I took half day off, and got a new haircut - a little different than usual. In the past, we were getting out of debt, so I was cutting my own hair, and my wife was trimming it up, which she hated. Getting a new phone as well. New Bike got dropped off 2 days ago. Bought cologne on Sat.

Needless to say, this change in Trumpet, and the haircut put her over the edge. Got really angry when she got home, and she asked me who I'm planning to to go out with, and if I had a date.

Here is where I made a mistake, thinking I was kidding... and said 'maybe...' with a smile on my face. This one word took her over the edge, and she started getting angry in front of the kids. I let her go for a bit, and then stated that my portion of the conversation was done, until we could see the counselor in an hour. That didn't set well with her, either.

She drove separately.

She started the session in tears, and what we planned on working on during the session drifted away. Both of us showed anger and hurt, and the pastor realized we hadn't moved on from the hurt stage yet towards MC. I explained that this was my worry, but he was pretty sure that we had overcome that. Nope.

At home, something happened to my W. She wanted to talk, and right away, after the kids were moving towards bed, she told me 'I am sorry', and not in anger, but in a voice and demeanor that showed something had changed in her. She acknowledged the EA and start of a PA with OM, but stated again it was over, and has been for a week. No contact. She stated she wants to work on the marriage - a true first for her in 6 weeks. Other times it was 'we'll take it day by day'.

We talked on our bed for a good hour. When she was heading to bed, she said 'I do love you, but there is a lot of crap on top of it. I'm still working through the idea that I wanted to be in love with someone else, and the idea of that (aka fantasy). I like your new haircut, and I also like the cologne you're wearing'.

Those words let me know that what I had been doing was paying off.

In the session, I was told to continue to lead. The wife agreed. And we both agreed it will take many back and forths to finally get past the hurt, and that it will be difficult.

I was content with all that last night, and will continue to work on myself.

This morning - a surprise. She asked me to come close and she kissed me. She wants to go on a date on Friday. She initiated. I said yes.

The roller coaster is going up the hill, faster than I want it to. Baby steps.

For any of you 'piecing', putting a R back together, any advise you have would be helpful. It looks like the D word is leaving my W's vocabulary for now.