I am glad you are somehow digesting all this. To tell the truth, the first thing I did after DB was to get drunk, totally drunk. You see, here in this board we will let you know we made a ton of mistakes and we basically learned the hard way, with a lot of 2 x 4s from the vets.
Don't punish yourself, you are having a perfect reaction. It is all very new and you are in shock at some kind.
Tl2 and Azzork are giving you good advice and you will be smart to listen and do some thinking. I went to three lawyers and they were free for the first visit, consultation as they call. They just look at the case and tell you what they can do for you, what are your changes for Y or Z. Try to call some places and see if you can get a free consultation first, so you do not need to spend money yet.
Regarding being engaged or partners, you need to also find out how it works in your estate, some places if you are sharing a life like a married couple for this "X" years then it does not matter if you are legally married or not, the D will be also to dissolve that R. Check on that.
And when I said to get some paperwork done, I meant this too. Gather information, paperwork, start a file so when you have your consultation you have all you need. Also, every time you think about a question, write it down and put it in your folder. Believe me, you will forget if you don't write it down.
About GAL, it does not need to be something super fantastic, it is just time out to cool you off right now. Maybe doing something with the kids and something for yourself. I won't feel too good at first, but will get better.
Don't worry about being needy here in this board. You need help right now, you will feel better in the future, but we know well how salty is this pain.
Another suggestion is that you can read some of the stories here. There are some with good ending w/H back and they are some with excellent ending without the H back. LOL.
You can start reading TO326 - she is back with her H now, but boy, she went through a horrible time. He said lots of horrible things to her, did a lot of stupid things like FB show it all. But at some point, like Azzork said, feeling changed and he decided his family was important for him.
And, what do you think about choosing a time to cry, to be sad and a time to be practical? It may help to manage your time better.
And by the way, do you work?
I too use to play in the rain when I was a child, I still do when eventually rains in Colorado, what is not all the time.
