Or offer to get her a new phone and don't spy anymore. Yes, it's a backslide, pursuing type thing, but it also doesn't start a big argument that would be more detrimental in my view.
And I think you know enough to not need to spy anymore anyway.
I think this is the best solution, but I'm not really an expert....
Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12; S10 and S6 BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015 EA dissolved 12/2016
Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou
^^^ with options as they are and (I by no means an expert) I'd suggest this as well so long as you for sure discontinue any spying (which largely enables continued attachment). If you know for certain that your W is carrying on communication with OM and she has no desire to repair any relationship, spying in my opinion is fruitless.
I also wanted to comment on your previous post that given the time into your S, I commend your overall PMA and strength. You are better than I was at this point in time. Keep it up, cease the spying, and focus on you and your little guy is my advice.
M: 33 W: 30 T: 14 M: 9 S2 BD: May/2015 (w moves into spare bedroom one week later) EA / PA (discovered): June/2015 W moves out (living with OM): Sep/2015
Thanks all im not sure how feasable getting a new phone is. Im not made of money. And her phone is pretty much brand new.
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
May sound crazy but if she will let you get your hands on it with her there "accidentally" do a full reset. Basically where everything is wiped.
If i get access i might aswell just uninstall... she had a freind over last night when i got home trying to do a full reset but they couldnt figure out how to backup pictures and music so they didnt do it.
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
I also wanted to comment on your previous post that given the time into your S, I commend your overall PMA and strength. You are better than I was at this point in time. Keep it up, cease the spying, and focus on you and your little guy is my advice.
Thanks E i apreciate the emcouragment. I do have a very good support system so things are just going to get easier with respect to the PMA now that i have started filling people in that were having problems. Told my parents, sister and a bunch of close freinds know. Im getting a surprising amount of support from her freinds that know were going through rough times. 3 or 4 of her closest freinds have reached out to me in support. Saying im a great guy and that if i need anything they are there for me.
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
Just thought id give a quick update. Im doing good. Had a good night with my sick little guy last night. He had a fevar and some trouble breathing. W had some things she had go shopping fo so i brought S1 to doctor just me and him. Hes doing ok now but he was a cuddly little bear last night so that was awsome. W didnt get in from shopping until 1:30 im the morning but i dont even care anymore. I did wake up when she came in the front door though. I just came out of MBR and said hey asked if she picked up S1 meds like i asked and headed straight back to bed. Trying to turn my focus onto myself and S1 and i been doing good with that but i need to set some s.m.a.r.t. goals i think anyone got any advice on this topic before i get started? Focusing on that this weekend i think!
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
W didnt get in from shopping until 1:30 im the morning but i dont even care anymore.
Eyeroll.
Originally Posted By: Strngr!
i need to set some s.m.a.r.t. goals i think anyone got any advice on this topic before i get started? Focusing on that this weekend i think!
I had a topic in Sept and Oct where I listed out my personal goals. Im not sure theyre perfect, but you can consider them as a starting point. Im sure theres some other examples on here.
But post what you come up with and we can help shape them with you.
So w was suposed to go to her grandmothers bday gathering about 2 hours ago and bring s1. She left the house about 9 hours ago and i have plans with a buddy to play a board game in about 1 hour. What should i do. 1) text her asked where the f she is 2) call her and ask if shes still taking s1 to the gathering. 3) bring s1 over to gathering and send w a text say s1 is at gathering i dropped him off there with your parents s1 wanted to see his great grandma on her bday too bad you dont care about anyone but yourself right now you selfish disrespectul peice of work!
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
If the in-laws are expecting S1 take him there and just let her know where he is. You will have to have a plan for someone to pick him up or let in-laws take him for the night.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
im not sure how feasable getting a new phone is. Im not made of money. And her phone is pretty much brand new.