The Next Day...

[mahhhty]

I was just drafting up a catch up journal entry. I got distracted and read this.

Divorce Busting
December 2 at 10:15am · Boulder, CO

Love is never enough.
Falling in love is easy.
Staying in love is another matter.
You need to know how to make a relationship work in order to keep love alive.
We're not born knowing how to create loving relationships.
If we didn't have great role models growing up, there's no way we can know what to do when things get tough.
That is, unless you learn new relationship skills.
Don't believe the myth that relationships just come naturally.
They do only after you know the formula for creating lasting love.
Take a relationship skill-building class.
Go to a therapist who also teaches skills.
Read great self-help books.
Become an educated partner.
Then pass this wisdom down to your children.
The world will be a better place.
Michele Weiner-Davis

This clearly was what I tried to attain in my situation, vs her position ILYBINILWY and relationships aren't work, they shouldn't be hard, my parents never fought, etc (which all are probably supporting her affliction either physically or mentally for another man).

I've had hope. I've wanted to work at this to keep our family together and show our kids the real meaning of lasting love. I've documented in all these threads (to the best of my ability) what I wanted to do, what happened, and I tried to adapt and take responsibility. I've maintained an idealistic mind and had hope for my family.

But honestly this morning.... I woke up this AM during a vivid dream. One in which we were hooking up until the OM came back. I'm well aware, I'm not as detached as I wish I would be. But seriously... I think its time for me to make some new friends and putting myself out there.

Anyway, on a better front. Business is kicking off January 1st and I couldn't be more excited. Got three new vendors, I'll own real estate, have a sweat setup, 18K-20K cars pass the location daily, I found my first full-time employee. The pieces are coming together.

Dreams don't work unless you do. And I'm not scared of rolling up my sleeves.