Let him face his issues on his own. After all it is the consequences of his decisions.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Pho, I am trying to meet more people. I'm on a list serve that has a forum for divorced people and I just signed up for a get together in January. And I do have other friends. But everyone has their own stuff to deal with. But I am trying to be better about reaching out to people.
Grlonfr, thanks for your kind words. My IC is trying to help me figure out what I'd like to do. But it's a long process. And I know my H is keen on me getting a job, but I hope he can come up with more stuff for me to translate.
Mona, my DB Queen. I think my goal is to get a license (to drive, not kill exes) next year after I move. I'll def need it if I move out of the city eventually.
Thanks Mahhty. Trying to stay positive. I don't know if it's colder weather or holiday season, but I do feel more blah these days. Like I lost my PMA. I need to run more. But am struggling to find the time.
Holidays are hard. Do what you can. Its okay to take a rain check every now and again. As long as it isn't every day.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Its shittty. I'm over a year now. It doesn't make it any less hard. But each day you take a couple steps. Sometimes the rollercoaster gets you and you fall down, but you have to dust it off, learn and take some more steps.
I just read this.... I think its great advice (from a guy for a guy).... "Let Go! Detach! Be a better you! Continue moving forward with your life. She may catch up.......she may not. If she doesn't you don't want her."
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Mahhty, I love that quote! Gmum good for you for meeting new people. I think that meeting new people and this forum have been what is saving me. I literally would be a crying mess all day without human interaction.
Thank you for that quote. That really resonates with me. However I don't like hearing that things won't be better in a year. Haha.
Well... Lets think. In a year, I'm now in the best physical shape of my life (since high school), I've kayaked over 65 days on the water (more than the last three years combined), I'm starting a business (which is my dream), I'm getting back to my old cocky (not stupid cocky but playful) confident self, my business will enable (when I can quit the day job) to be with the kids everyday all summer long, I'm a much better Dad and most importantly my kids and I have the best relationships we've had in their lives.
The downside is that I miss her and my family. But I don't miss what we had at the end. I miss the best times, which is also not realistic. I still seeing dating other woman as an issue.
So... That is me. That doesn't mean that will be you. But things are much better in my life. Even the part she is involved with is better (not as much heavy divorce drama).
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Ok, he called me again this morning and was somewhat pleasant. Saying how he has been these past few months is not how he wants to be. I said I wasn't sure what was gonna happen in the future. Right now I'm just trying to find a place in the city we are currently in and then maybe after that I could go upstate or maybe move overseas. Don't know anything yet.
He called me about an hour later. Completely changed his tune. Asking me where this idea to go upstate came from. Ranted about money. I've grown accustomed to him always figuring things out, but it's not gonna be like that anymore. He basically wants me to move to Europe next month. Tuesday when he called he started by saying he didn't want us to go abroad, but that he would be there up to 9 days a month. He asked me if that made me feel better about going and I guess he wasn't expecting me to say not really. I'm just so used to parenting solo, so I don't think about it. Maybe all this Mr Nice guy was because he thought he would get his way. He wants to file for divorce when he come back for Christmas. Said its been 4 months and nothing has happened. He needs it to move on.
I'm freaking out. Standing on the street in tears. Have to pick up my D in less than an hour.
