Ok here it goes. Don't judge us, me or her. Judge? Here? Dont worry, none coming your way.
Initially when we met we met other liked minded people on a website for "adult fun". There was no jealousy involved or anything like that. The trouble began when I continued to be active on this website and posted her picture. Not on the website but to private emails. So you were taking things beyond a level that you had discussed/agreed with XW? Im still a little unclear what the intent was? The danger of possibly being caught? The validation of the other guys?
She had always told her not to send her picture out. And I didn't listen. And it came to a head when I posted a semi-naked one of her. And I then lied about it. She had my email password. So I could never really hide that. I knew she would find out. It became almost like a game to me. I was very proud of the way she looked. And liked the responses I would get back. The issue was me.
A. Not listening to her and respecting her wishes. B. Lying to her. C. Not ever involving her in this process. I would do it behind her back.
Yes, these are all issues. And I think you should look into them to see what caused you to do these things.
For example - you can not send out pictures anymore. Great. But if you still desire that validation from other men, what will stop you from doing something similar again - oversharing some personal detail or something?
As soon as we went to counseling and this came out. I finally realized how much I had hurt her. I vowed to never do it again. And I didn't. But her feelings were I had already told her I was going to do it. And that she didn't feel she could ever trust me. NNothing you can do about that right now. But you can become a person that engenders trust from others. How do you build yourself into a person that can be trusted?
So there you have it. I know this was hard for you. I hope you can breathe easier now.
