Hi Bright. Hope it's ok to post Please get those thoughts of not being good enough out of your mind. I'm sure blame is not all Hs but it certainly not all yours.
I get where your coming from because I feel like that too but which one of you is on a forum trying to save your M and grieving because it's failing ???
I'm sorry your in this position but hope is never gone until you decide it is
As for your H not caring , unless he's psychotic or some other disorder then he still cares in some way Maybe not how you would wish but he's moving on in his head so take how he is with a pinch of salt. Truthfully you have no idea how he's really feeling. I read a reconcillitation story on here about a guy who's W acted with complete indifference for almost two years. Once they were back together his W told him she had gone through hell and thought about him every day.
I'm not saying your H is like that but just giving an example
Do something for you today , something that will make you happy and even if it's only for a short time , enjoy it. Life will be good again
