When we are told love is a choice, the originating emotion within us is a state we choose to keep and direct towards others. The others are the choice, staying in the state is a choice. Other emotions have choices too, anger disgust sadness joy and fear. Having the emotion is involuntary, keeping in that state, chosing to hold on is a choice.
Similarly another has choices, they can choose to feel love anger disgust etc about us.
Each of us chooses it is our bodies our thoughts and our beliefs. Just because we feel love for another won't mean they feel that for us. They can choone differently.
Our love may be intertwined with a feeling in the other which is counter to the one we require. For instance my stbxwh told my L "I love V". This triggered great fear in me, PTSD in fact. I prefer he said he had zero feelings. If this were true, his feelings, his choice, then the greater the love then the greater my fear. I love WH and am unafraid of my own love, it is his statement that causes me fear not my own. Consider if my feeling was disgust or sadness rather than fear in response to his statement. The more the love the greater the response in the other.
In this way love is personal to us. As LBS we hold it dear, it is our strength and grounding. I think our choice to hold this love in our hearts is a brave one. Do so without expectation of reciprocation. The other may choose to respond to it with another emotion.
You wait until your W responds back with love. This is her choice, and she is more likely to make that choice if she senses you are letting go. I believe this.
Mutatio, you are capable of great love, that of itself is remarkable. You perceive you have no power, that isn't so, you have the power over you, change your dynamic and the interaction changes. It must change as one or the other changes. You don't need me to remind you, you change you and who you are.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/09/1507:09 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
