The only place any of us can go, forward. If you love her you have to let her go. Turn into the man you want to be and maybe things change with her, maybe they dont. I know it hurts, I'm hurting today also but this is all we can do.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Thanks fogg. You are a huge help man. Your one of the DB crew that I always try to read your posts on there threads too. Thanks. Now, off to the airport! Haven't flown in 6 years, and never alone. Will be an experience, I'm sure.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Oh yeah, W asked why I didn't tell her that I was going on a short trip. Asked why I needed to hide it from her. I responded that she hasn't asked me about me in months, so I didn't think that she cared. She said that she didn't want to pry and thought I would volunteer things. Maybe a little mystery does help things?
That's not how friends work though, it's give and take. Not just take
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Yesterday was great. Fishing for 10 hours and reeling til your arm may fall off is pretty good therapy. Been awesome to be hundreds of miles from issues. I wish I could find something like this near home, and cheap! It really kept my mind busy for quite a large portion of the day.
Back to reality in a couple hours
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Awesome D. Boys and I went fishing a couple months ago just to get away from the craziness and it did us a lot of good. Nothing like wetting a line and feeling that pull...
Great getaway dday! I don't tell my WW where I'm going, where I've been or what I'm doing. I don't ask her either. The mystery is important. The other day I was leaving the gym. She called and asked where I was. I just told her what city I was in and headed toward the house. Less is more.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Tl2, we limited out our charter in under an hour, and the captain invited is to go commercial fishing after. So, we ended up catching 300 striped bass, up to 15# or so. It was awesome! Couldn't keep up with all the strikes!
Gs9, I figure that she fired me, and therefore as long as my kids are happy with me and what I am doing, the rest doesn't matter right now. I would have loved for her.to have come with me and enjoyed the trip, but she has made the decision not to be with me. W still tells me many things about her plans, but never asks me mine.
Her attitude seemed to change when I wouldn't back down on the D papers, and roll over. After I mentioned that I would like the house, which is no lie, her mood changed, threats disappeared and she started agreeing to things.
I'm sure that I won't stop the D now. But, maybe, I made a step towards a future r by standing my ground and protecting myself and the boys.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
That's awesome, dday. Always fun when there's more catching than fishing since that doesn't happen all the time
Quote:
W still tells me many things about her plans, but never asks me mine.
Right, cause it's all about her.
Quote:
But, maybe, I made a step towards a future r by standing my ground and protecting myself and the boys.
What you did was made a step towards a better YOU. I know that you and I seem to have had similar attachments and dynamics with our W's. I'm not trying to speak for you, but I know that I've got a long way to go before I'm ready to do this sort of thing again (if ever!). But I know regardless, getting me and my strength and self-respect up is going to be necessary regardless. So good for you, man.
You are right tl2, I am in armadillo mode. Curl up in my shell and keep the bad stuff out. Detaching would allow me to get somewhat out of that. I feel bad that she will think that I am taking things from her, but I have to look out for myself and have a great place for the boys. I've noticed that when I stand up.for myself, she acts differently. She starts off mad, then when she sees I am.not backing down, she starts accommodating me. It's a 180 for me, I don't like to rock the boat. Now I see that it's ok to voice what I want, and try to get it if it doesn't negatively impact others. It isn't selfish, it is just trying to be happy and full.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Hi DDay! I have the fishing poles and plenty of bait!
I saw this and it struck a cord:
Quote:
She likely sees it completely differently from how you/we see it, and sees you differently from how you see yourself. Only thing to do is what's best for you as an individual and the kids' dad. As much as it hurts, you're on your own path now and that may be permanent. What can you do to take charge and make that a good thing for you and the boys?
I totally agree with the seeing things differently statement. My W is totally convinced that D won't affect the children at all - and that they will be fine with everything. She thinks they will be happier like that. Imagine that. Did I mention that she twists everything?
Keep on keeping on, bother. Right there with you.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
