Complete newbie here but vise82 and tl2s advice seems spot on. Sorry. I know what it feels like to never be or do good enough. I hope someone else can stear you on the right course.

Best of luck

Rain (moi): 40
Ex Fiance: 39
3 kids
On/off again EA & PA
Last BD by ow 12/15
Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15