I'm so sorry for the position you're in. And I know how you feel: On my 20th wedding anniversary I took my W to the beach and found her passed out drunk on the beach...she had been texting with a male co-worker back home about how she wanted to run off with him for a week and "play and explore".
I did not get any peace until I detached from my W. Even then it was difficult and a slow process until I started feeling better. And I also backslid plenty, but every backslide taught me how much trying to connect with her was a bad thing.
I too have stayed for a long time in a marriage where she was constantly lying and unfaithful, and I can tell you from my experience that there is nothing else that worked for me to keep me sane and strong. Have to detach, go dark, get a life, all that stuff.
