Never good enough

[kyrie]

So I have a question for the veterans & experts... here's a scenario that shows the dysfunction of our marriage that I just cannot navigate:
My husband is very picky (VERY) and somewhat OCD. I try to meet his needs for order & cleanliness but it is an impossible task. He says he's clear about what he's looking for - and how I can show that I care. I do ALL of those things. I also validate his feelings: "I know things aren't as you'd like them, or as clean as you'd like them, etc, etc" "How can I make it better for you", etc, etc. He always just replies that I just don't listen & just don't do it right. I just don't care.
Nothing I do is ever good enough!
What can I do???

(there's a lot more to this, I have a lot of history on here RE: his affair, etc.) Of course *complicated*!