Pho's latest thread.

[Calibri]

This will sound so pro-divorce, and I'm not. But it's something I've learned.

Sometimes, people cannot be together. It doesn't mean that they don't love one another. It doesn't mean that all is lost. It just means that at that point in time, for who they are, and what their goals are - it's not going to work.

I feel that way about my xh. Most days he feels the same too. It doesn't mean that we don't care, and that we don't love one another - but honestly the healthiest thing for the both of us was to part. And that's a bitter pill to swallow. Maybe down the road we will reconnect. Maybe we won't. But I know that I stood for my marriage and I stood for myself.

He may come out of it in five days. He may come out of it in five weeks. Five years. He may never come out of it. I know you're struggling Pho. Could it be perhaps you're afraid to give up? And that if you let him go, he will suddenly become healthy and ride into the sunset happily ever after? Are you afraid of the stigma of giving up? Honestly, are you just tired and afraid?

What you're going through is traumatic. It truly is. But how you decide to move through this and forward is up to you sweetie. Not him.

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Additionally - for better or for worse? Sometimes doesn't factor in things like abuse, mental illness, life changes. I think the only person we can truly promise for better or for worse to is ourselves.