I'm sorry that therapy was rough today. It never gets any easier, hearing hurtful things come out of the mouth of the person we love.
It's so easy to absorb their pain, and make it our own.
I met with my IC last night, and was in so much pain, as my xh is on medication that doesn't seem to be working, and he's just raged and screamed at me in the last two weeks. It's so tough. And she let me boohoo on the couch and then when I was ready to hear what she had to say she had the following to say:
-Of course he loves you (to my snot filled wailing on how much I feel XH doesn't love me and wants to erase me and forget me and move on). He wouldn't be expressing such a range of emotions to someone that he "felt nothing for." She said that while it wasn't healthy, it was an indicator that while he was fighting with me - that he still had the love there. Because if he didn't? If he truly were done, he would've blocked me consistently, NC, nothing.
-His feelings are his truth. He rides the rollercoaster with his illness. Some days he loves me and somedays he feels like I am to blame. Those are his truths. But they are not mine.
What are your truths Pho?
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15
